It finally happened. I’ve seen it many times in my life before but this time it was out there for lots of my blogging friends to see. What am I talking about? The old-fashioned term “while the ink was barely dry on the presses” … I get those sayings confused all the time, so that might not be it … but the point is as soon as I hit publish on Day 17’s Devotion, I am writing in Facebook groups that I am discouraged, that no one reads my posts … well, 9 did, but I have a whole lot of subscribers so that is sort of pathetic.
I just reread my post and these words caught in my throat…“Even with these devotions, I wonder what am I doing? Is anyone reading them? What is the point? I wanted the devotions to be more about business, but some of them are really deep and I cringe thinking who wants to read that? But because I believe God told me to write them, because I believe God gives me daily what I am to write, I trust. I trust that the sacrifice of daily writing will reap a harvest. I don’t know what kind of harvest. It could be that one person gives their life to Jesus. Way more important than me becoming a successful blogger, so whatever the outcome I have learned my lesson. Don’t quit, don’t give up. Wait and keep doing what God told you to do.”
I have seen this pattern before! You make a statement and then you get tested on it. I know I say this all of the time, but these devotions are as much for me as anyone so it isn’t like when I say something it means I do it well. I try to be super honest and open here so you see real life struggle at living a godly life. That said, I really didn’t expect within hours to sort of crash and burn over the words of encouragement and the promises of God that I just wrote.
But it happened. It happened in an almost embarrassing way. I posted something like, ” I am usually the one encouraging (which is true!) but I just looked at my google analytics and it shows that hardly anyone reads my posts. I have been at this for about a year and I really think the only people who ever read my posts are those from FB communities where we ask each other to or from the bloggers I link up with. Are there any suggestions on getting over the fence to the readers out there.”
So, it was not a pity party…yet. I wrote this in three places. One place I admin the FB group and I got a little feedback. Another one was really a group of newbies, but it brought out two bloggers who I met and connected with as I was just starting. That was great. But the last group had one response, yet it was seen by 33 people. I burst into tears. Sobs. I couldn’t believe it hit me that hard. It wasn’t about the low views, it was the lack of support I saw. It hurt me. I thought how could 33 people see my cry for help and just leave me hanging here vulnerable and exposed? I know a little over dramatic, but let’s be real, when you start sobbing it has gotten dramatic! (BTW, I got way more support before this post was finished…did someone say WAIT? 🙂 )
I was immediately reminded that I wrote about this very thing yesterday. I was reminded of a Psalm of David’s…
“And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.”
1 Samuel 30 : 6
Of course, I am not THAT distressed. But I do need to encourage myself in the Lord. It didn’t happen immediately. I needed to do some house work so I asked “alexa” to play some nature music…she can’t find a nature music station, so I asked for spa music, but that wasn’t cutting it, so I asked for Christian music. Then the second song they played was “Strength Will Rise as We Wait Upon The Lord.” Wake up Call! First it is the song Wait upon the Lord and so I start singing it and that brought me back to Day 15 – Your Secret Weapon, and I realized that I needed to surrender to some praise and worship. That is how I encourage myself in the Lord. It doesn’t say how David did.
Imagine David as he wrote his Psalms, pouring his heart out to the Lord, had he known how many songs would be written based on the words he penned. What if he had determined there was no purpose to putting his prayers and praise down in writing. Doing what we believe God has told us to do should be the most important reason for doing it even if it doesn’t seem to matter at all. I really do believe those words, but it does not mean I won’t get discouraged doing something without seeing fruit from my labors. And then I find this Scripture.
So there is a promise for me to hold on to.
We (I) need Resolve. We (I) need Perseverance. We (I) need Tenacity. We (I) need to be more interested in the treasures we are storing in heaven than those on this earth!
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17 : 7 – 8
*Have you ever had your Resolve Tested? Did you ever just make a statement and find yourself struggling with that very thing the very next day?
*Where do you see yourself slipping often…discouragement, temptation, anger? We have many areas that we find hard to manage. It is good to recognize what they are so we are on guard when they rear their heads.
*I didn’t put many Scriptures in today so that you could do a search for your own that speak to you about the subject of not living out what you believe or finding yourself struggling with the very thing you just told others how to overcome. Find three strong Scriptures that speak to you on that subject and write them down.
Father, I am humbled today at how quickly I fell from the very words I spoke a day earlier. Thank you for helping me to recognize that I was failing a test and bringing me to a place where I was able to settle it in my heart once again. Content to do what You have told me to do without worry of what becomes of it. You are my Shield, my Source, my Savior and I worship and adore You. In Jesus Holy Name, Amen.
I hope this spoke to someone today but I know it spoke to me. Being humbled is such a great blessing even though it hurts, and today I got to feel that pain and reap its reward. I would love to hear your stories, comments and questions. If you enjoyed this, please share it. Blessings,