Do you hear from God?
Do you believe He still speaks to us today?
I am sure there was a time when if someone would have asked me that I would have thought they were a little crazy. But the truth is if you don’t believe you can hear from God, most likely you won’t.
I do have a testimony of a miraculous healing that you can read, Do I Trust You, Lord and Part 2. But I can honestly say that the healing would not have happened if I had not been being chased by God to teach me how to hear from Him. I am not proud of what I did to get His attention and it is described in the posts mentioned, but it was the igniter of a consistent visit of thoughts to my mind that were not my own.
I know now you are probably thinking I need a psychiatrist, right? Well, the truth is back at that time, I was seeing one because of the illness I had and my neurologist said most people with my diagnosis suffer from severe depression. So yes, through this time of God speaking to me, I was under psychiatric care with weekly visits.
Here is the thing, you know when you hear your conscience speaking to you in your mind…that isn’t right, you shouldn’t do that…who do you think that is? Do you think you are scolding yourself and trying to talk yourself out a bad decision? What about the thought that says, “no, it’s okay, go ahead, no one will know” is that your thought too? Just sayin’.
There comes a time if you realize God is speaking to you, that you realize He speaks to you all of the time. If you welcome His guidance, you will have it. And He truly cares about the littlest things, because He loves you.
Today I really wanted to share about sharing your faith. I have heard pastors all my life say how you should share your faith. I just think well, that is not my gift. I don’t know how and I am not comfortable doing it. But truly and secretly I wish I was. I wish I was like a Billy Graham. What an inspiration! He filled stadiums and people gave their lives to Jesus. I can’t even tell a neighbor!
So one day in the church I actually got healed at, the pastor shared how he went to visit someone sick in the hospital. She was not a member of his congregation but a parent to someone in it. I am pretty foggy on the details, but for some reason he was fearful to visit her and share the Gospel. He talked about all of the thoughts he had as he was going up in the elevator and how he wanted to run away. I was stunned. He shares the Gospel with drug addicts, people in prison, and even Hollywood celebrities, so why did this little 90 something lady give him such pause, such dread, such fear? Sorry, but I can’t remember, but what I did remember was the important thing.
The story stuck with me, that even the pastor was not always comfortable sharing the Gospel.
God has perfect timing, He doesn’t wait to use something till you can’t remember it, He puts us in places to hear and see things so we are equipped for what He knows we may encounter.
I was visiting my sons at Purdue University. While there I decided I would like to get a massage, so I looked in the phone book. I found a place called Samson and Delilahs. I don’t know why I picked it, I mean I doubt the name was chosen to promote the Bible, but it was from the Bible so I called and made an appointment.
When I arrived they informed me that I was assigned to Michael. Well, I don’t use male massage therapists, I just don’t feel comfortable with them and so I asked if there was a female available and there was not. Then they said well if you don’t mind having our esthetician do your massage, we can put you with her. I wasn’t even sure if that was legal and I was a bit disappointed because she may not do a great job. But I really wanted to relax, so I said sure.
They have you fill out paperwork before your massage. They ask what you do for a living. Well, I had recently lost my job at the church from a pretty big layoff and so currently I was the co-director and worship leader for an expressive worship ministry, volunteer. I wrote “worship leader” down. It felt pretty weird, though that was my title, it was not what a typical worship leader was and I always felt like I was a poser…because I simply selected the music for our monthly meetings based on a theme that I felt I was getting from God and then burned the CDs for six hours of worship. It would be like someone writing a book that had never been published saying they were an author, it was a big deal for me to put that down on paper.
So here I am on the table, disrobed under the cover and so excited to relax. The soft music is playing, I can smell the scent of lavender and she begins to melt my knotted muscles with her touch. Then suddenly she asks me about being a worship leader. She talks about her life and how she used to go to church. You know what is happening? My heart is racing, my mind is saying this is the opportunity to share your faith. But I talk back to my mind, are you kidding? I wanted to relax and have a massage, instead I was sort of shaking all over knowing what I was being promoted to do. I am flat on my back naked on a table! That was the longest hour of my life. Usually your massage therapist doesn’t even speak, but mine was just spilling her life out and so I reluctantly shared my testimony…I don’t ever have a problem telling about the miraculous healing I had, just didn’t seem like the right moment! That wasn’t enough, God wanted me to truly walk her through coming back to Him. So I finally asked her…it was such a stressful thing for me, the absolute furthest thing from relaxation I could imagine. I don’t know what I said, but I do remember the picture of what it must have looked like. I was still on my back on the massage table beneath the covers and she was kneeling down on the floor, hands folded repeating the prayer I was saying.
Even with the prep for it from the pastor the previous week, this really was hard! I felt exhilarated afterward but just writing it here made my heart leap back up in my throat.
It doesn’t come easily for all of us to share our faith and ask someone if they wish to pray the sinner’s prayer. But if we are open to it, the opportunities will present themselves and the Holy Spirit will walk us through the words we need to say. It doesn’t matter how clumsy we are at it, He will do the work.
“… for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.” Luke 12 : 12
This past weekend I attended a funeral service. A man who was very loved by so many people. It was not like a service I had ever been to before. There were no hymns, there was Beatles songs played by band members torn with grief at the loss of their friend, poems and letters shared from the heart. It was a beautiful testimony of the impact this man had on these people’s lives. At the end a man came to share the Gospel, he wasn’t a pastor but someone the widow asked to speak.
It hit me hard. What if this man was not saved. What if the people in this room were not saved. I am reminded of a Scripture that really convicts me at this moment.